I would post a picture of my new, fun adult schedule on my dry erase board that leans on the wall above the flimsy plastic desk drawers, but my phone is out of battery and wahwah!. This is the calendar that's going to change the game. This is where I take stuff seriously, at my little Ikea desk who has some Swedish name that was probably similar to a beanie baby's name. I allot time for stuff, like exercise, general "Free" time, guitar practice, nothing on there about self-care and mindfulness, but rest assured I do plenty of that avoiding getting hit by cars or bitten by rabid maniacs in the city. How much of that planned time comes from morning vs. evening, I also wrote some arithmetic on that topic..
You get the picture - I am preparing a boring adult schedule of cold oatmeal because I need to be punished for my free-wheeling and bullshit. Some of the bullshit put myself through. I don't even fully understand how much shit I put up with all to push muself under. Everyone does it to some extent, right? Put limits on opportunities, new chances to get ahead, get happier, we put ourselves through waking up early all to impress, for a dramatic chance at a breakthrough with people you work with, in a sterile meeting room, not taking breaks, just snapped into the culture, mini-revolutions, even with those, you need a walk to clear your head.
Anyway, that's besides the point about the schedule I am more excited than ever to practice guitar and learn musical vocabulary that I thought was beyond my comprehension. I am ready to learn in a more efficient way and take my playing to another level, beyond anything I've heard or played. I have such an affinity for music, it would be a shame to sacrifice it. What else do I have. A job, loved ones, friends can come in and out of your life. Music does not and cannot as long as I live, how about you?
Sensitivity. Patience. Zen, ultimately, and so many derivatives of hard social science that tell us how we can and should work. We as a society pooh-pooh hard science when it comes to drugs that are powerful and have occasionaly side effects, but never blame ourselves for adopting life-changing behaviors. That's just how it goes. Here is me trying to do my best not to die a sad old sour puss.. Go me! Damn you for not reminding me to write in you, you bleeping blog!! HaHa!